Hype Ruin

MLB.com writer Jonathan Mayo posted an article today about collegiate pitching phenom Stephen Strasburg with the headline: "Strasburg: The best pitching prospect ever?"

Why on earth do the pundits find it necessary to hype-ruin young athletes before they even get a chance to prove themselves at the next level? Morbid storytellers who delight in heartbreaking tales of unmet expectations, untapped potential, unattainable goals. I'm bored sick of stories like that, stories of the can't miss prodigies who stumble. David Clyde and Brien Taylor and Bill Pulsipher.

I read an online article today that opined on the biggest busts in Major League Baseball history. Travis Lee was #9. Lee played in more than a thousand games and hit 115 home runs in his career. Ben McDonald was #8. He won 78 Major League games and had an ERA under 4.00. Number 4 on the list was Ben Grieve. He was actually Rookie of the Year in 1998, played nearly a thousand games and hit 118 big league homers. None of these guys had Hall of Fame numbers, but to call them among the biggest failures in league history is a bit much. Unfortunately, there is no shortage of these lists in cyberspace, documenting the litany of athletes who are guilty of nothing but the bad luck of intense scrutiny and bars set unfairly high.

Isn't that where Stephen Strasburg is headed? If he doesn't win big right out of the gate, if he doesn't put up all star statistics, if he doesn't dominate for the next decade, then he's just another bust on a lame list. And what good does that do for anybody?

Saying No

Several years ago, an acquaintance made a memorable comment to my wife. "Isn't it great," she said, "that we never have to say 'no' to our kids?"

My wife and I talked about it at the time, surprised at the narrow-minded, short-sighted point of view and concerned that such a child-rearing approach might produce problems down the road. Fast forward a few years to just last month. A boy from that family plays baseball and my son's team was playing his. So, we had a chance to see what happens to a kid that's rarely, if ever, told no. He pouted constantly when things didn't go his way. He disrespected his own coaches by shrugging off instruction and his teammates by caring more about his performance than his team's. He even disrespected me; after we won and the teams lined up for the post-game handshakes, he pulled his hand away from mine in one final display of snottiness.

It's not a problem unique to my small town. It's a national epidemic, especially with the most talented young athletes. Too often, nobody tells them no, holds them accountable, sets a high standard for behavior, teamwork and sportsmanship. Apparently there's not enough money to be made or publicity to be had by being a good sport.

In my experience, it's OK to say no to kids and, specifically young athletes. It's OK to deliver constructive criticism, to teach them sportsmanship and how to apply it. It's OK to show them what humility looks like, that the success of the team doesn't depend entirely on one player. It's OK to define expected behavior and enforce consequences when players fall short.

It's not easy saying no. But it's a requirement if we want to make quality big people out of moldable small people.

Book Review: Until It Hurts

I reviewed "Until It Hurts," a new book by Mark Hyman on the state of youth sports in America. I highly recommend it for every parent and coach involved in youth sports in any way, shape or form. The review ran in today's edition of The New York Post. Check it out here.

"The intensity is increasing and I don't think it's good for kids"

Nice article today by Bob Shaw in the St. Paul Pioneer Press about competition in youth sports. Strong cases to be made on both sides of this debate. On the one hand,  stiff competition is a lame reason -- for parents or kids -- to give up on youth sports. Strive to get better. Learn how to face daunting challenges. Develop discipline. Sure, losing isn't fun. But walking away from a tough situation is a far more dangerous lesson to teach.

Now on the other hand, it's not very healthy to put our kids alongside the sons and daughters of the fanatical SuperParent (think Todd Marinovich's dad) who is grooming his 4-year-old for superstardom. Those kids may win on the field, but they are losing far more than they're gaining and creating a negative experience for the other young athletes around them.

Ideally, we can all avoid the extremes and rest somewhere in the middle, with kids actively engaged in enjoying youth sports, coaches enthusiastically developing character and skill at the same time, and parents who understand the bigger picture. 

When Intramural Soccer Players Brawl...

Rarely do positive youth sports moments and experiences make it to the media. It happens, but most of the coverage focuses on the idiots. That's a shame, since it grossly misrepresents the experiences most kids, parents and coaches have with athletics.

But when those stories do hit the press, it should serve as a great reminder about what not to do, and how foolish you can look when you cross the sportsmanship and integrity line in youth sports. Here are three cases of bad behavior from this week alone I found in a 2-minute Google search:

EDMONTON JOURNAL, March 12, 2009

Soccer brawl leads to suspensions

Eight students at Queen Elizabeth High School are suspended following a fight that broke out during an intramural soccer match at lunch-hour. A brawl at high school recess? During an intramural soccer game? In Canada? Winning the QE High Intramural Soccer crown can be very lucrative - especially in endorsement deals - but is it worth fighting about?

KEYE-TV AUSTIN, TX, March 11, 2009

High school brawl puts several students in hospital

Students from rival high schools Jarrell and Salado, met at the Salado football field with bats, pipes and knives and it ended with a hospital full of injured students and parents who say their teenagers should not be punished for the fight. OK, not directly related to a sporting event, but most of the participants were athletes and the best quote from the whole thing came from one of the dads:

“Because these kids weren’t able to play, that hurt us in the playoffs, the baseball team was hurt because I think five varsity players were involved (in the fight) and of course the varsity track,” said parent Danny Tucker.

So let me get this straight: let's overlook the knife fight because we've got a big track meet coming up? Is this guy kidding?

KARE TV 11, MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL, March 10, 2009

Fans brawl at school basketball game in St. Paul

About 20 police officers were needed to break up a fight among spectators at a boys' basketball game between St. Paul's Johnson Senior High School and Minneapolis' Washburn Senior High. According to the news story, the brawl swept up children and parents alike, though no injuries were reported. I'm sure it was a big game, but it's not like it was the intramural soccer championship.

Make Coaching a Win-Win Experience

Great column today by Chicago Tribune reporter Greg Kot about his experience coaching youth basketball. I love his approach to winning, encouraging fun, the importance of positive attitudes and getting parents involved. 

Depression-Proof

I enjoyed L.A. Times columnist Chris Erskine's column this week titled "Kids who love sports are depression-proof." He writes about his 6-year-old son and the boundless enthusiasm he and his friends have for playing sports, ambivalent about the economic strife that abounds:

"These kids, my son and his buddies, I love how they play ball - the way they pound the plate with the bat, the way they bounce up and down on first base after a hit, out-shining the sun. Yeah, they're juiced. Box juiced."

He closes with:

"How will our kids grow up -- the budding shortstops and quarterbacks, the gymnasts and the midfielders? They'll grow up smiling, because as long as a kid has a ball to kick and a team to cheer, childhood will always be more than just OK. It will be seven flavors of grand. Because sports, like movies, gives us way more happy endings than real life."

I think he's right about the 6-year-olds. The problem is maintaining that innocent love for the game beyond tee-ball. He doesn't write about the 11-year-old that has a 75-game select baseball schedule, 30 more soccer games, trumpet lessons and homework who forgets he's supposed to be having fun and quits sports altogether. In fact, studies show that more than 70% of kids quit youth sports by age 13 for that very reason: it stops being fun.

I hope Chris' son always pounds the plate with such enthusiasm and that he's constantly surrounded by coaches who encourage him to have fun. Even when he's 13.

CaptainU.com

I received an e-mail from Avi Stopper, founder and president of an organization called CaptainU, a Chicago-based web company that creates recruiting software for high school athletes. He claims they emphasize an "empowering approach to the recruiting process" and can deliver to young athletes an "affirming experience that ends with them finding the college that's right for them academically, socially and athletically."

The void CaptainU is trying to fill is an enormous one and I really like the tone of the content on its site. Say the word "recruiting" and most people cringe thinking about unscrupulous coaches, duplicitous recruiting companies and intense parents living vicariously through their children.

CaptainU's approach seems to be one that celebrates a high school athlete's unique gifts and interests beyond the playing field and encourages a more holistic approach to finding a collegiate home. And its point of view on parental involvement is especially refreshing. Here's some advice from a blog post on the CaptainU site:

"As parents, concentrate on what is right for your child. If he's not Harvard material, don't push him in that direction. If she wants to explore a lot of other activities, maybe Division I isn't right after all. Most importantly, don't be overbearing. Instead, think of yourself as teammates trying to win the recruiting game together. The cool thing is that this can be an exciting, collaborative experience."

www.CaptainU.com is worth a visit. I've coached 50 or 60 kids that have gone on to play baseball in college, and I wish we would have had a tool like this to make the process more effective.

An Act of Congress

AP article this week about a bill pending in Rhode Island that would create a seven-member council to settle disputes in youth recreational leagues. The council would have the power to fine parents, resolve fights, etc. The Governor of Rhode Island himself would pick the seven panelists and nominees would be subject to Senate approval, just like judges.

How in the world has it come to this? Parents and coaches have become so misguided about what youth sports represent that it has literally taken an act of Congress to attempt to straighten them out. I've coached in the Upward basketball league for several years -- an outwardly Christian-focused program with a clear philosophy on conduct and attitude -- and found this season to be my most discouraging yet. A dad yelling at his second grade daughter during a game, encouraging her to physically attack another girl. Coaches so consumed with winning that they completely disregard sportsmanship and fair play, let alone Christian ideals of humility, grace and respect.

Rhode Island can convene all the panels it wants, but the government won't fix what plagues youth sports. Every coach, parent, player, referee, umpire, administrator and fan needs to be accountable for their own actions. They need to understand that every foul, discouraging word; every reaction of disgust and disdain; every self-serving, win-at-all-costs decision has deep and lasting impact on all the people that experience it.

We can all do better. And we don't need a government panel to tell us how. A little common sense will work just fine.

Is That the Hit & Run Sign?

Check out this gem from today's Cincinnati Enquirer:

Coach charged with stealing
By Jennifer Baker
UNION TWP. – The coach of a youth baseball team in this Clermont County community is accused of stealing from the group's cookie fund, Union Township police said. William B. Mitchell, 37, of Georgetown was charged Tuesday with felony theft after five players' parents filed reports with the police, saying he deceived them by stealing less than $1,000 over the past couple months, said Union Township Police Detective Scott Blankenship.

Mitchell, who remains at large, is the volunteer coach of Withamsville Knothole baseball, added Lt. Scott Gaviglia. More details about this case are expected to be released later today. Anyone with information on Mitchell's whereabouts is urged to contact Union Township Police: 513-752-1230.

Is this guy kidding? Stealing from little kids, then going fugitive style to duck the law? What a role model. So many kids and families getting soured on youth sports because of guys like this.